Processing

I haven't posted for quite awhile... and you never really got to hear "the rest of the story" of Cameroon. Now, as I sit in my own house, sipping coffee with the sounds of my boys getting dressed for school (which always involves singing for some reason), I find myself trying to process everything that happened in the last four weeks.

Looking back, my last entry was from Tuesday and entailed my partial trek home from the grade school in the rain. Oh, how I loved that. I found the alone time refreshing; me, out in the open air, surrounded by nature and humanity intertwined in the most intuitive of ways. Which is immensely hard to explain, perhaps even to someone who was there too. And there in lies my challenge on the back end of the trip. I can recount the happenings and attempt to give a taste of my interactions, but that's all it will be - a nibble. Because it is nearly impossible to verbalize my feelings in a way that will make sense to anyone else. Which, in turn, provides for a lonely return in so many ways. "Reverse culture shock" or "transition" upon coming home is a process that can be very isolating. I realize I have a slew of interested readers and listeners, but too often when I return from a life-changing trip like this (or either of my trips to Japan or to Cambodia or to the Philippines), the question I always run into is a very well intentioned "How was it?"

It is impossible to answer that question. It was many things. It was beautiful. It was challenging. It was discouraging and encouraging in the same breath. It was frustrating and exciting and dirty and adventurous, overflowing with laughter and sprinkled with tears... and all that can't be summed up in a quick elevator speech that most people want before moving the conversation on to "regular life" topics with which they are more familiar. I don't mean that as an insult and it certainly doesn't apply to everyone. But in general, that is the most difficult part of returning home for me after these trips.

I do, in this case, have the opportunity to share some more details about the trip with an intentionally listening audience, as I'll be asked to make some presentations on behalf of Kingdom Workers at my church and in others if they would like. That can be very cathartic and allows me to consciously boil down what I want to share and focus what I learned. And fear not, I intend to continue to recount some of the "snapshots" of my time in Africa here in this blog as I shift back into the routine of America - especially since you didn't hear about my last week there!

I guess my point is, as I make this adjustment, please be patient with me. I'm doing well, particularly since I knew what to expect to a degree because of my traveling history. But in your encounters with travelers, I'd encourage you to be cognizant of the difficulty of answering such a broad question. Any experience of this scope (spiritually, emotionally, and physically) is much too complex to squeeze into a sentence or two.

Now I feel all lecture-y and I don't mean to insult any of you. That is just what's on my mind this morning as I decide what to write about to catch you up on the rest of my journey. And clearly you are here because you DO care and WANT to know what my trip was like, so perhaps I'm preaching to the choir. But I needed to say it. You understand. It's just part of my process of transitioning.

More to come...